Tuesday, 21 March 2017

You - yes YOU, can become Feminine

If you think that you are too plain, too big, too small, too manly,  too clumsy, or that your 'bad' past, will prevent you from becoming irresistably feminine - think again!

This is another thing you won't find on the internet. But here on The Housewifely Haven, you will discover just how easy it is to experience your own feminine transformation - whatever  your looks, build, or past.

If you are a wife and housewife, or you want to be one; then you can learn to become one of those treasured wives that I mentioned on a previous post, 'A Case of the What ifs'. A man might well admire a clever, independent, high-earning woman; but such women never inspire deeper feelings in the man of integrity. As a feminine woman your life will change; you will suddenly have doors opened for you, be treated with consideration and be smiled at. I cannot begin to describe the  wonderful differences that becoming feminine will bring into your life, and into the lives of others. So...

As always, don't take my word for it...

I thought it would be interesting to study the picture below for a few clues.

 This woman appears to have a good figure, probably a pretty face too, and her hair is long (and long hair is very feminine). But she isn't what you would describe as 'feminine'. Why not?

Well, the most unfeminine and unattractive thing about her is that she is coming over as self-obsessed. She is unaware of anything or anyone around her. Her mouth is set in a grim expression and her stride has a manly look.

Her outift is quite provocative isn't it? A woman will usually think that 'sexy' equates with 'feminine', but to a man it comes over as hard or threatening; a general turn-off (except to the man who has other designs on a woman). The clothing and bag aren't doing much for her either; it looks like they have been thrown on without thought. Her priority is her social media, her agendas, and her wish to look 'desirable'. The boots are very masculine too.

 A non-feminine woman has very little inner confidence. She is so busy trying to prove herself as 'better than a man.' What is the point of that?

Here is your challenge.
Becoming feminine is done in easy painless stages. These few steps will begin your transformation. Please let us know if you are doing the challenge, and how you get on.


The watchword is 'softness'. How can we appear softer and gentler?  We can begin by growing our hair and wearing it loose in a barrette or slide so that the soft hair can be seen. It doesn't matter what age we are: 50... 60;  it is a myth that short hair looks better on an older woman!  So don't cut your hair when it gets to the awkward stage. Use a slide or pretty hair grip to keep it out of your eyes, and enjoy the lovely, soft feel of your hair. (Plait long hair for night-time or when you need to, it is gentle on the hair).

If you have never put on a skirt before, buy a longer length denim skirt (It will be a bit like jeans, so not too scary). If wearing tights or stockings, an underslip will prevent static cling. After a short time you will feel more feminine, and happier than in those uncomfortable, unflattering jeans.

 Smile! A smile tranforms the plainest face and makes it feminine and attractive. Heavy makeup gives faces a hard look, so avoid covering up the soft, naturalness of your face. A little foundation to even the appearance of your skin is probably all you need. Remember the watchword - softness.


 Home and domesticity
Put away your phone and get off FaceBook. This is going to be much more fun and relaxing, and contenting!
Make a pot of tea or coffee and sit down in your sitting-room or kitchen. Look around you and see if there is something you can rearrange to make  your home more attractive and relaxing to be in. Have a bit of a potter/putter around and take your time. Open the fridge and cupboard - is there anything nice you can cook for tea? The amazing thing about pottering at a relaxed pace is that you will begin to enjoy your home, and discover the contentment of domesticity.

Find a gentle and feminine hobby that you can pick up when the housework is done and dinner planned. Knitting, crochet, drawing, baking, reading gentle books (if you can find a single 'non-feminist book' that is) can be very pleasant and enriching. If you don't know how to knit or sew, learn at a slow pace, and enjoy the process, or ask someone to teach you.
If your home is really a disaster area and in chaos, join flylady.net and get her emails. It is free, and you will soon begin to make a peaceful and ordered oasis that your husband and family can come home to.


Serving and Kindness
Our social conditioning makes us see these words and think 'doormat'  and 'what about MY rights?' But that is as far from the truth as you can get. The opposite is true. If you do not serve and be kind to others you will be missing out on real pleasure, contentment and fulfillment. Try it and see for yourself. Make yourself vulnerable by serving and being kind to others. You will develop a gentleness that is irresistable. This does not mean that you make yourself inferior. You are the queen of the home. Femininity will help you to understand that place of honour.

When you wake up, get dressed in your skirt, brush your long hair and smile. Enjoy thinking about what's for dinner, and getting that washing out on the line - so there are clean, fresh clothes for the family... Cultivate a soft voice and manner. You don't have to be on the attack with the ones you love. Put their needs first, and consider what your husband says without jumping down his throat; effectively silencing him. We have been taught to have agendas and get what we want at all costs. The feminine way allows others to have their feelings considered, and yet, the feminine woman usually finds good things and unexpected things flowing into her life without grabbing for them.

Are you doing the Housewifely Haven Feminine Transformation Challenge?

I really appreciate reading your lovely comments, but am unable to reply to many as my priority is being a wife and housewife : )
As always, I will not publish those which would spoil our happy Housewifely Haven atmosphere


  1. I am doing this - this is just what I need! I love your encouraging words. Thank you 😊.

    1. Hello Eileen, and thank you for taking up the challenge.

  2. I love this! You are correct in stating that things like this are very hard to find on the internet! I am always striving to be more feminine! Challenge accepted!

    1. Welcome Tricia. Thank you for taking the challenge too!

  3. I am participating in the challenge as well!! I never find blogs about being more feminine or a better housewife!! There are some but it is so much organizing and very little "beautifying" ~Mrs. J~

    1. Thank you Mrs.J. I too am surprised that there are not more blogs which concentrate on these subjects. I think we will see more of them soon

  4. Thank you for your post. I just ordered a vintage skirt, slip, and adorable shoes for errands on Amazon.

    1. That sounds exciting! Glad you mentioned the slip. They are really good for wearing under skirts. Do let us know how you get on with the challenge.

  5. Hum, you know, I'm going to have to disagree with part of what you say here. A woman needs to ask her husband's opinion. Years ago when we were living in Germany and were newlyweds I asked my husband one day if he thought I should wear more skirts (and I have always been a conservative dresser). His reply was a shocked, "are you crazy? We live on a military post where men have been in the field away from women for 2-3 months. NO I don't think you should dress more attractively!" His opinion remains unchanged. He thinks women should have as much wisdom as men to dress sensibly and comfortably. Then he went on to tell me that he never could understand why some people equate "skirts" with "femininity". That femininity to him was in the other things you mentioned....the kindness and gentleness. Being the one who brings beauty and peace into the world. And you need to understand.....he works with and instructs women to fly helicopters. By the way....he says women are fairly consistently the better students because we don't approach a task with the macho attitude of " no one can tell ME how to do this, I KNOW how." He says women are more likely to ask for advise and actually take in the directions and apply them. And most are holding on to their femininity with what they are doing. Oh yes.....there are those others.....the ones who are there to compete with the big brothers who excelled inlifenor to show up the men. But consistently those who have the competition attitude towards the men, just don't do as well.

    Same thing with long hair. He knows I have thick heavy hair and we live in the Deep South. For many years we had no air conditioning. His opinion was that I look better with shorter hair, and look like I have a lick of sense for not torturing myself just for the sake of someone else's definition of feminine. I was fuming one miserably hot summer day applying makeup when he said, "you know, I never understand why women wear that stuff on their face. I think women look just fine without it. I see them with all this makeup and have to wonder, just what the heck are they hiding?" He's a keeper! So yeah, asked your husbands opinion. You just may be as shocked as I have been! After all....he should be the only one who's opinion matters.

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    2. Yes, It is important to ask your husband's opinion of what is feminine to him. Here, I have written a general guide above and have seen the difference in practical help for ladies wishing to become feminine.

  6. Challenge accepted!!! :0) due to M.s. long skirts tend to cause me to trip and fall, but that doesn't mean that mid-calf length is just as comfortable. I have missed wearing them... thank you so much for sharing and inspiring us to become ourselves! :0) mari

  7. Hi! Lovely post! I was wondering if you would r commend some gentle books? I do love to read.

    Thank you.

    Mrs U

    1. Thank you Mrs. U. I enjoy Reading the novels by Miss Read (Dora Saint). She writes about life in an English village.Her first book 'Village Teacher' is a good place to start. They are available in the UK and USA. Of course there are the classics by Jane Austen, and the Bronte sisters. The Secret garden is a children's book, but a lovely read. But I myself, struggle to find many. Maybe someone else who reads this can suggest?

  8. Oh, how I love this! I found your blog through Lady Lydia's blog, which I have read and followed for years. I have subscribed to yours and look forward to reading future posts :)

    By the way, Fascinating Womanhood is my favorite book! I call it my "bible on femininity."

  9. I look younger and more 'cute' with short hair with long , side-swept bangs....the old Audrey Hepburn style in How to Steal a Million.