Thursday, 2 March 2017

A Case of the 'What if's'

Welcome to The Housewifely Haven

I am a full-time wife and housewife. To me, it is the most fulfilling, satisfying and happy thing in the world. I know that many women feel the same way - but you won't read that on the internet - I believe there is a nasty agenda out there. But 'in here', you are safe and free to relax, to learn how to be a housewife, and all the benefits that await you if you do.

If you are a 'seasoned' housewife (sounds like you are to be a casserole?) maybe you don't need to read this post. But for anyone whose heart is saying 'How I wish I could stay home and be a housewife' or something along those lines, below is a quick list of 'What if's' that might be worrying you. I hope they may help.

Before I post the list, I want you to remember - this blog is to be a gentle, peaceful haven for housewives, or those wanting to explore the world of the housewife. Comments are moderated, and I will simply not publish anything that will spoil our fun. 

What if's (short list - short answers -)

What if I don't have much money?
You don't need much money. You don't need land. You don't need to own your own home. You don't need anything more than a very modest income to manage as a happy housewife. Resourcefulness is truly fun. I will show you how.

 What if I don't have children?  Then you will have more time to: Build a deep and abidingly romantic relationship with your husband - a regular lunch date; gathering up quick supplies for a picnic when he has an unexpected afternoon off; always being able to take a holiday when he has his leave from work; creating a warm welcoming atmosphere at home where he loves to be after the madness of his day. You will have the time to learn new skills that will be satisfying and fun. If you have a garden of some kind, you can learn to grow bright flowers, or maybe you would like to start with growing tomatoes or salad leaves for the table. Perhaps you want to learn how to sew your own clothes or knit, draw or papercraft.  If you don't know other housewives, invite an elderly person for tea once a week. How they would love to visit in a real, relaxed home atmosphere. These things are what our society is sorely lacking today.

What if people think I am stupid by not having a job or career?
Your job and career as a wife, housewife (and mother, if you have children) is more important and fulfilling by far. You will be more relaxed , organised and looking after those you love the most of all. Personally, I think it is a very clever choice to have these priorities.

What if I am not a natural housewife, and I can't clean and organise?
Most women would say the same to begin with. How much time was invested in showing you how to do these things? As long as your heart desires it, that is all you need. Cleaning and organising only feel overwhelming because we have not been taught how to do it at a natural, gentle pace. I will show you how easy it is to run a home when you are not squeezing it into impossibly tight schedules

What if I am bored?
You won't be. After a period of adjustment (be kind to yourself over this) you will discover how rich life at home will be. It will amaze you.

What if I am treated like a doormat and have to be a slave to the family?
If you understand that you are the 'queen of the home', and your role of guiding it, you won't be treated like a doormat. You are not a martyr either. I remember seeing a video of Queen Elizabeth when she was a young woman. She was on a picnic with her family in Scotland I believe. There she was, the Queen of England, happily serving out the tea and sandwiches. Serving is a thing that builds confidence and richness in life - if you value yourself and those you love. 

What if I feel unfeminine, or I am not glamorous?
If you don't feel feminine, you soon will do. Being a housewife, away from the harsh working world, gradually allows you to soften. Free from the pressures of making money or career, your features and your voice begin to soften - your husband and family see this and they will love it. Don't take my word for it - see for yourself.
It is not about being glamorous! Men don't see beauty the same as us - truly! To a husband, a women who has a gentle manner, a softness and a sweet smile, is a beautiful woman. Try it for yourself.

What if I don't have a husband?
A man of integrity, who wants to serve his wife by leading,  providing for and protecting her, is not attracted to a 'manly' type of female, or a self-obssessed,  bossy, overtly 'sexy' woman. He wants to love and cherish a sweet, gentle and feminine woman whom he can safely trust in. If you wish to be one of these treasured ladies, you can easily learn to become one. You will be prepared and confident when the right man comes along - and you will have a lot of good men from which to choose. As always, don't take my word for it, try it and see for yourself.

I hope you will enjoy these posts, and find them helpful. I hope to inspire you on your housewifely adventures, organising, meals, cleaning, creativity and resourcefulness and on becoming more feminine. Anyone can do this! The schedule is not gruelling.  My first priority is my own husband, home and family, so I won't post a huge amount.

I welcome polite, respectful and genuine comments from housewives or those who want to be housewives. 



  1. And it is an opportunity to learn strength in standing for who you are and what you consider valuable. Sad to say the feminist have convinced our world that "a woman should have the choice to be whatever she wants to long as that is NOT being a homemaker." A while back I was being assaulted by those voices insinuating that I had not done my share in the marriage because I didn't have a paying job. So I said something to my husband like, "Our finances would have been better I guess if I had gone out of the house to work." He looked at me in astonishment and said, "you have contributed so much to our marriage, your full share and more. Do you not understand how much of a relief it was to know that you were home during the day taking care of things? And how much more peaceful our lives have been because you were home to take care of so many tasks during the day? Our family has been blessed! I have been blessed.
    Let me share this with you. We cared for my Mom in our home for 10 years. It was her example of sweet kindness and strength that convinced me I wanted to follow in her footsteps of being a homemaker. Shortly after her death we were watching the movie Middlemarch. At the end of the movie this was said about the main character. We both burst into tears realizing it was the perfect description of her. And I think of homemakers as well:
    She had no dreams of being praised above other women, feeling that there was something better which she might have just done if she had only been better and known better.
    Her full nature spent itself in deeds which left no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculable. For the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts and on all those who live faithfully their hidden lives and rest in unvisited tombs. George Elliot

  2. It seems as though we do not know the affect our lives have on those we love. What a very special and wonderful mother you had, and what riches she passed on to another generation of homemakers. Thank you for sharing this Dee.

  3. I've been a stay-at-home wife, mother of 7 and now grandmother of 7(so far) for 39 years. If I had to do it over again, I wouldn't change a thing, and my husband and family feel that way too. :-)
    Great post!♥

    1. Welcome Anne. Good to have you here. Thank you

  4. So happy to find your blog through the Home Living blog I have recently subscribed to also. Thank you for the time you take to publish what you do! A safe haven, indeed. :)

  5. I am going to love your new blog. Thank you for your willing ministry to women. Your example will be a blessing to us!